Rediscovering Your Life After A Divorce
Divorces are difficult. Regardless of whether the split is your idea or an amicable one, once the papers are signed you may find yourself feeling lost and alone. One minute you are crying and the next second you’re angry. You can also bounce from happiness to heartbreak. Basically, it feels like you are on an emotional rollercoaster without a safety belt.
Go ahead and take some time to wallow in your emotions. You deserve it! After a few days, it’s time to start thinking about rediscovering yourself and empowering your life after a divorce. However, while this sounds great in theory, putting it into practice can be difficult so here are a few tips to help you get started living your new, best life.
Tips On Rediscovering Yourself After a Divorce
Some of these tips may seem silly but go ahead and give them a try. Who knows, you may come out feeling better than you did before.
Take a Deep Breath
Take time to experience all of your emotions. Don’t keep them bottled up inside or ignore what you are feeling. Cry when you need to and scream when the feeling hits. Just be careful not to alarm your neighbors. Laugh and get angry. This is all perfectly natural.
Don’t look at your divorce as a failure. Remember, it takes two people with an equal investment in the relationship for a marriage to work.
Most importantly breathe. Take a few deep breaths while you remember both the good and bad times. Pretty soon you’ll find yourself relaxing and starting to think about what your future may look like.
Don’t Focus on the Past
Once the papers are signed and filed with the courts, your divorce is finalized. That’s it, you are no longer married to your former spouse. Don’t concentrate on how you are going to address your ex to friends and family. You’ll figure it out in time.
Chances are, you and your former partner both made mistakes in your relationship. Instead of overanalyzing your role in the divorce, recognize and accept your mistakes. Then, put your divorce where it belongs. Your divorce is a part of your history and this is where it should stay. Don’t make it a part of your future.
If you are having trouble putting your divorce behind you, therapy and/or life coaching sessions may provide some help. You may also want to think about joining a support group for divorced individuals. Sometimes, being able to talk to others experiencing the same issues can help you put yours in the past.
Enjoy Your New Freedom
Okay, so don’t go overboard enjoying your freedom. For example, deciding to stay out every night bar hopping. Your newfound freedom can be exciting and liberating, but you also want to stay safe.
Start thinking about the things you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t do during your marriage. Maybe your spouse was against it or your time was always spent taking care of your partner’s needs. A good tip is to create a list and start having fun. Go skydiving, take the road trip you always want to go on, or finally move to your dream destination.
Want to eat cereal in your pajamas while watching a movie about divorces? Go ahead, no one will mind. After all, it is now your life to enjoy however you want. Take advantage of the single life and don’t be surprised when you realize you are having fun.
Reach Out to Old Friends
Marriages often mean losing touch with old friends. As a married couple, you have each other’s family taking up a lot of your free time. Not to mention your spouse and possibly kids. Add in your job, and suddenly there isn’t enough time to get together with your friends.
Even if you and your former spouse have children together, you still have more time on your hands. Instead of moping around and thinking about your divorce, reconnect with your friends. Sometimes, the best therapy after a divorce is spending time with friends you haven’t seen in ages. You can laugh, reminisce, and spend time making plans for future get-togethers.
Treat Yourself to a Makeover
How extreme you go with your makeover is entirely your decision. Changing your hairstyle or even color can go a long way towards boosting your self-esteem. Going through a divorce can knock your self-esteem down a peg or more, and treating yourself to a makeover is a great way to start feeling better about yourself.
Ladies, you may even want to change up your makeup. Try a different shade of lipstick or indulge in some eyeliner.
Don’t forget about your wardrobe. Women and men often feel a little better when they have a new fashion hanging in their closet.
After your makeover, take yourself out. Even if it’s only to the local café, show off your new look. Your self-esteem will thank you after you receive the first few compliments.
Rediscovering Yourself After a Divorce Can Be a Fun Experience
Gong through a divorce is tough. You should also plan on taking some time to go through all of the emotions associated with a divorce. However, when you are ready, get out there and start having fun. Along the way, you may also learn something about yourself.
